{"id":24146,"date":"2025-10-01T18:05:55","date_gmt":"2025-10-01T18:05:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/valovi.com.hr\/blog\/love-part-2\/"},"modified":"2025-10-01T18:05:55","modified_gmt":"2025-10-01T18:05:55","slug":"love-part-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/valovi.com.hr\/en\/blog\/love-part-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Love (Part 2)"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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First Love Illustrated (1949.-1963. Harvey Comics)<\/figcaption>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/figure>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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\n\t\t\t\t\u201cPrva je ljubav do\u0161la tiho, nezvana, sama. Za sva vremena skrila se tu negde duboko u nama\u201d.\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t

\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\u0110or\u0111e Bala\u0161evi\u0107, 1977.\u200b<\/cite>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/blockquote>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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Ka\u017eu da se prva ljubav nikada ne zaboravlja.<\/span><\/h3>

Prva ljubav budi razli\u010dite uspomene. Za neke je to Andrija iz prvog osnovne ili Lara iz vrti\u0107a, dok drugi to povezuju s prvim dodirom ili onda kad su po\u010deli \u201chodati\u201d s nekim.<\/p>

A ja? Ja se svoje prve ljubavi zapravo ne sje\u0107am.<\/p>

Ne mogu je imenovati. Ne znam je li to bio neki mali iz \u0161kole, netko iz susjedstva, ili netko tko je \u017eivio samo u mojoj ma\u0161ti. Mo\u017eda \u010dak neki lik iz romana ili stripa.<\/p>

Znam da sam bila zaljubljena. Vi\u0161e puta. U osmijeh. U poglede. U osje\u0107aj da me netko primje\u0107uje i da mi se to svi\u0111a. U misao da vrijedim vi\u0161e kad sam nekom posebna, iako to tada nisam znala prepoznati.<\/p>

Ali tko je bio prvi? Ne znam.<\/p>

Mo\u017eda sam zaboravila.<\/p>

Mo\u017eda sam potisnula.<\/p>

Mo\u017eda sam izmislila.<\/p>

Prva ljubav je\u2026<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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\n\t\t\t\tNikad prije nisam bio pogo\u0111en\n\n\nLjubavlju tako iznenadnom i slatkom,\n\n\nNjezino je lice procvalo pout cvijeta\n\n\nI sasvim mi ukralo srce.\n\n\nLice mi problijedilo, kao da sam nestao,\n\n\nNoge mi otkazale, nisam mogao dalje.\n\n\nA kad me pogledala, \u0161to mi bi?\n\n\nKao da me vi\u0161e nije bilo.\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t

\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tFirst Love, John Clare 1819.<\/cite>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/blockquote>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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Idealizacija, o\u010dekivanja i stvarnost<\/h3>

Ako vjerujemo da prvi poljubac mora biti poseban, na\u0161 um i na\u0161e tijelo rade u skladu s tim o\u010dekivanjem.<\/p>

Znanstvena istra\u017eivanja pokazuju da su idealizirana vjerovanja i o\u010dekivanja o ljubavi va\u017ean temelj na\u0161ih emocionalnih iskustava.<\/p>

Jedno od istra\u017eivanja (Thompson et al, 2023) ispitivalo je kako vjerovanje u posebnost prvog poljupca utje\u010de na do\u017eivljaj ljubavi. Rezultati su pokazali da su osobe koji su sna\u017eno vjerovale u lijepu, idealiziranu pri\u010du o prvom poljupcu do\u017eivjele dublju ljubav prema svom partneru, \u010dak i ako sam poljubac nije bio savr\u0161en ili nije ispunio sva o\u010dekivanja.<\/p>

Za\u0161to je to tako? Zato \u0161to na\u0161 um ne razlikuje stvarno od onog u \u0161to vjerujemo i ako mislimo na na\u010din da je ne\u0161to posebno, stvorit \u0107emo emociju u skladu s tim vjerovanjem.<\/p>

RTT\u00ae (Rapid Transformational Therapy) me nau\u010dio da svaka misao koju pomislimo i rije\u010d koju izgovorimo postaju unutarnji nacrt prema kojem na\u0161 um i tijelo tra\u017ee na\u010dine da ga pretvore u stvarnost.<\/p>

\u201cEvery word you say and thought you think becomes a blueprint that your mind and body work to turn into reality\u201d. (Rules of The Mind, Marisa Peer)<\/p>

To ne zna\u010di da “izmi\u0161ljamo” ljubav nego da je stvaramo iznutra prema van.<\/p>

Vjerujete li jo\u0161 uvijek u ono \u0161to ste tada nau\u010dili o ljubavi i jesu li vam ta uvjerenja korisna?<\/p>

RTT\u00ae (Rapid Transformational Therapy) nije brisanje pro\u0161losti. To je pronala\u017eenje i prepoznavanje onoga \u0161to ste jednom, nekada povjerovali kao istinu i svjesna odluka da mo\u017eete vjerovati u ne\u0161to bolje.<\/p>

Va\u0161a prva ljubav nije bila pogre\u0161na, ali je ostavila trag i uvjerenje koje, nesvjesno, jo\u0161 uvijek nosite i koje utje\u010de na va\u0161u sada\u0161nju i budu\u0107u romanti\u010dnu vezu. Ali sada znate da su uvjerenja va\u0161a, i samo va\u0161a i kako ste ih stvorili, tako ih mo\u017eete i mijenjati. Jer najja\u010da sila u \u010dovjeku je potreba da djeluje u stalnom skladu s vlastitim mislima.<\/p>

\u201cThe strongest force in you is that you must act in a way that consistently matches your thinking\u201d. (Rules of The Mind, Marisa Peer)<\/p>

I na kraju, kad se spomene prva ljubav, ve\u0107ina ljudi se raznje\u017ei. I pravo pitanje nije Tko vam je bio prva ljubav?\u00a0<\/p>

Prava pitanja su: Kako ste se tada osje\u0107ali? I \u0161to ste tada, mo\u017eda prvi put, povjerovali o ljubavi?<\/p>

\u00a0<\/p>

Literatura: Thompson AE, Hill MR, Record JM. Can a kiss conquer all? The predictive utility of idealized first kiss beliefs on reports of romantic love among U.S. adults. Frontiers in Psychology. 2023 Dec 7;14:1256423.<\/em><\/p>

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First Love Illustrated (1949-1963 Harvey Comics) \u201cFirst love came quietly, uninvited, alone. 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