{"id":24125,"date":"2025-12-01T16:59:00","date_gmt":"2025-12-01T16:59:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/valovi.com.hr\/blog\/i-am-a-person\/"},"modified":"2025-12-01T16:59:00","modified_gmt":"2025-12-01T16:59:00","slug":"i-am-a-person","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/valovi.com.hr\/en\/blog\/i-am-a-person\/","title":{"rendered":"I am a Person"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><a><\/a><strong>To be<\/strong><strong>&nbsp;<\/strong><strong>a person<\/strong><strong>, yet <\/strong><strong>not<\/strong><strong>&nbsp;<\/strong><strong>to be<\/strong><strong>&nbsp;<\/strong><strong>seen<\/strong><strong>.<\/strong><strong><br><\/strong><strong>To exist<\/strong><strong>, yet <\/strong><strong>pass by<\/strong><strong>&nbsp;<\/strong><strong>unnoticed<\/strong><strong>.<\/strong><strong><br><\/strong><strong>How<\/strong><strong>&nbsp;<\/strong><strong>unfair<\/strong><strong>!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In the episode&nbsp;<strong>Peg<\/strong> from the series&nbsp;<strong><em>Solos<\/em><\/strong> (Amazon Prime Video, 2021),&nbsp;<strong>Helen Mirren<\/strong> portrays&nbsp;a woman&nbsp;who&nbsp;has&nbsp;spent her&nbsp;entire life&nbsp;living&nbsp;in&nbsp;a world&nbsp;in&nbsp;which&nbsp;there&nbsp;was never any space for her.&nbsp;Present, yet invisible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This&nbsp;feeling&nbsp;of invisibility&nbsp;leads&nbsp;her to&nbsp;the decision&nbsp;to enroll in a space program.&nbsp;If&nbsp;on&nbsp;Earth&nbsp;there&nbsp;is&nbsp;no space&nbsp;in&nbsp;which&nbsp;she can&nbsp;simply&nbsp;exist,&nbsp;perhaps&nbsp;she can&nbsp;find&nbsp;it&nbsp;in&nbsp;the vastness of space,&nbsp;a place&nbsp;that&nbsp;is&nbsp;hers,&nbsp;only&nbsp;hers,&nbsp;where she can finally be herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In the capsule, she is alone and talks to the spacecraft&#8217;s artificial intelligence. The AI doesn&#8217;t engage in conversation, doesn&#8217;t correct her, doesn&#8217;t judge. It just listens. And&nbsp;as&nbsp;she sits&nbsp;there,&nbsp;the feeling&nbsp;of invisibility,&nbsp;which&nbsp;has&nbsp;followed her throughout&nbsp;her life,&nbsp;once again&nbsp;comes&nbsp;to&nbsp;mind&nbsp;and&nbsp;she&nbsp;returns to&nbsp;a moment&nbsp;from&nbsp;everyday&nbsp;life on Earth, quite ordinary. Peg is riding the bus.&nbsp;life on Earth, quite ordinary. Peg takes the bus. &nbsp;The ride&nbsp;goes on, but&nbsp;the driver&nbsp;doesn&#8217;t notice&nbsp;her&nbsp;and&nbsp;drives her all the way to the end of the route, to the depot.&nbsp;Only&nbsp;then&nbsp;does he&nbsp;tell her&nbsp;that he didn&#8217;t see her, as if she were a ghost.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In that&nbsp;moment,&nbsp;Peg&nbsp;wants&nbsp;to say&nbsp;everything&nbsp;she&nbsp;carries&nbsp;within&nbsp;herself: that&nbsp;she has&nbsp;ideas,&nbsp;wit,&nbsp;rhythm&nbsp;in&nbsp;dance,&nbsp;a passion for&nbsp;the color&nbsp;of red&nbsp;roses,&nbsp;joy,&nbsp;vitality,&nbsp;intelligence, sensuality\u2014that she is, simply, a person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\ud83d\udc49 Watch the video and the phenomenal Helen Mirren as Peg <em>(double click)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In&nbsp;that&nbsp;scene&nbsp;lies&nbsp;the entire feeling of a life lived unnoticed.&nbsp;How unfair!&nbsp;To exist, yet&nbsp;pass&nbsp;through&nbsp;the world&nbsp;as&nbsp;if no one sees you. Peg doesn&#8217;t need words to explain who she is; it&#8217;s enough that she exists, yet the world still doesn&#8217;t notice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>When<\/strong><strong> <\/strong><strong>we learn<\/strong><strong> that it&#8217;s <\/strong><strong>safer<\/strong><strong> <\/strong><strong>to be<\/strong><strong> <\/strong><strong>invisible<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This&nbsp;feeling&nbsp;of invisibility is not unique to Peg.&nbsp;Research&nbsp;on early&nbsp;attachment&nbsp;shows&nbsp;that&nbsp;no one&nbsp;comes&nbsp;into&nbsp;this&nbsp;world&nbsp;with&nbsp;the belief&nbsp;that it&#8217;s&nbsp;better&nbsp;to stay silent,&nbsp;to shrink, or to disappear (Bowlby, 1969). The mind, to&nbsp;to diminish or disappear (Bowlby, 1969). The mind, in order to &nbsp;protect us,&nbsp;remembers&nbsp;situations&nbsp;that&nbsp;hurt&nbsp;us&nbsp;and&nbsp;shapes&nbsp;internal&nbsp;rules,&nbsp;learned&nbsp;patterns&nbsp;that&nbsp;help&nbsp;us&nbsp;survive,&nbsp;even&nbsp;when&nbsp;it&nbsp;means&nbsp;suppressing&nbsp;our own needs,&nbsp;emotions,&nbsp;or&nbsp;voice&nbsp;or&nbsp;voice&nbsp;(<a href=\"https:\/\/www.frontiersin.org\/articles\/10.3389\/fpsyg.2022.968383\/full\">Brown et al., 2017<\/a>;&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC3181836\/\">Schore, 2001<\/a>). This is how a survival strategy develops: shrink, stay unnoticed, to avoid pain or rejection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In this&nbsp;context,&nbsp;messages&nbsp;like&nbsp;&#8220;don&#8217;t&nbsp;stand out,&#8221;&nbsp;&#8220;be&nbsp;quiet,&#8221;&nbsp;or&nbsp;&#8220;don&#8217;t&nbsp;be a bother&#8221; are&nbsp;not experienced&nbsp;merely&nbsp;as&nbsp;advice,&nbsp;but&nbsp;are internalized as survival rules.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Every child comes into the world with the same needs:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>to be seen,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>loved,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>protected,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>connected,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>and valued.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When&nbsp;these&nbsp;needs&nbsp;are not&nbsp;met&nbsp;\u2014not&nbsp;necessarily&nbsp;due to&nbsp;bad&nbsp;intentions,&nbsp;but&nbsp;perhaps&nbsp;because of emotional&nbsp;absence,&nbsp;overwhelm,&nbsp;or&nbsp;the inability&nbsp;of adults\u2014the child adapts. Then the mind &nbsp;does&nbsp;what&nbsp;it&nbsp;was&nbsp;created to do\u2014it protects us.&nbsp;It remembers&nbsp;the situation&nbsp;and&nbsp;creates&nbsp;a rule&nbsp;that&nbsp;will&nbsp;keep us&nbsp;away&nbsp;from&nbsp;anything&nbsp;that&nbsp;might hurt us again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Perhaps you grew up with messages like:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2022 &#8220;Don&#8217;t stand out.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2022 &#8220;Don&#8217;t ask for too much.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2022 &#8220;You can&#8217;t have everything.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2022 &#8220;Be humble.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2022 &#8220;What will others say?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Or every time you shone, you received the message that it was too much. To shrink. To pull back.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is how an internal rule is created. Not &nbsp;as&nbsp;a conscious&nbsp;decision, but as a survival strategy.&nbsp;We learn to comfort ourselves in silence.&nbsp;We learn&nbsp;to swallow&nbsp;sadness&nbsp;before&nbsp;anyone sees it.&nbsp;We learn that it&#8217;s safer to be unnoticed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And&nbsp;often&nbsp;beneath&nbsp;this&nbsp;lies&nbsp;fear:&nbsp;if&nbsp;I show&nbsp;too much,&nbsp;if&nbsp;I ask for&nbsp;too much,&nbsp;if I feel too much, I will be rejected.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Feel<\/strong><strong> <\/strong><strong>the power<\/strong><strong> <\/strong><strong>of change<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Research&nbsp;on early&nbsp;attachment&nbsp;shows&nbsp;that&nbsp;no one&nbsp;comes&nbsp;into&nbsp;this&nbsp;world&nbsp;with&nbsp;the belief&nbsp;that it&#8217;s&nbsp;better&nbsp;to stay silent,&nbsp;to shrink,&nbsp;or&nbsp;to&nbsp;or&nbsp;to disappear from the edge of one&#8217;s own life.&nbsp;Such&nbsp;beliefs&nbsp;do not&nbsp;represent&nbsp;our identity; they&nbsp;are&nbsp;learned&nbsp;patterns,&nbsp;shaped&nbsp;through&nbsp;the experiences of relationships, especially in childhood (Bowlby, 1969).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They arose in moments when we needed them to stay safe and connected. But what was once protection often becomes a limitation, burden, or pain today.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If&nbsp;the mind&nbsp;could&nbsp;create&nbsp;a pattern&nbsp;that&nbsp;protected you,&nbsp;it can&nbsp;also&nbsp;transform&nbsp;it&nbsp;when it no longer serves.&nbsp;Thanks to&nbsp;neuroplasticity,&nbsp;the brain&nbsp;can&nbsp;reorganize&nbsp;itself&nbsp;when&nbsp;an old experience is given new meaning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>With <strong>Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT\u00ae)<\/strong> in healing hypnosis, you can:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>bring to awareness the moments in the subconscious where these rules were formed<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>understand why they were needed then<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>release beliefs that no longer protect you<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>adopt new ones that serve you today<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>That it&#8217;s <\/em><em>safe<\/em><em>&nbsp;<\/em><em>to be<\/em><em>&nbsp;<\/em><em>seen<\/em><em>.<\/em><em><br><\/em><em>That <\/em><em>you are<\/em><em>&nbsp;<\/em><em>enough<\/em><em>&nbsp;<\/em><em>worthy<\/em><em>.<\/em><em><br><\/em><em>That <\/em><em>your<\/em><em>&nbsp;<\/em><em>ideas<\/em><em>&nbsp;<\/em><em>and<\/em><em>&nbsp;<\/em><em>feelings<\/em><em>&nbsp;<\/em><em>have<\/em><em>&nbsp;<\/em><em>the right<\/em><em>&nbsp;<\/em><em>to exist<\/em><em>.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If&nbsp;in&nbsp;these&nbsp;words&nbsp;you recognize&nbsp;yourself,&nbsp;perhaps&nbsp;this is&nbsp;a sign&nbsp;that it&#8217;s&nbsp;time&nbsp;to&nbsp;explore in&nbsp;a safe space&nbsp;where&nbsp;you&nbsp;learned&nbsp;to disappear&nbsp;and&nbsp;how&nbsp;you can return to yourself today.&nbsp;you can return to yourself today.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Not to become someone else, but to stop living by rules that were never the truth about you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Because being a person and being seen has never been and will never be too much. It is your right! <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>References<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2022 Bowlby, J. (1969).&nbsp;<em>Attachment and Loss, Vol. 1: Attachment <\/em>. PsycNET link<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2022 Brown, R., et al. (2017). <em>Childhood Emotional Neglect and Adult Well-Being<\/em>. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.frontiersin.org\/articles\/10.3389\/fpsyg.2022.968383\/full\">Frontiers in Psychology<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2022 Schore, A. (2001). <em>The effects of early relational trauma on right brain development, affect regulation, and infant mental health<\/em>. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/pmc\/articles\/PMC3181836\/\">PMC link<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>To be a person, yet not be seen.<br \/>\nTo exist, yet pass by unnoticed.<br \/>\nHow unfair!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":24100,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-24125","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-rtt-en"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>I am a Person - Valovi - Brza transformacijska terapija<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/valovi.com.hr\/en\/blog\/i-am-a-person\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"I am a Person - Valovi - Brza transformacijska terapija\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"To be a person, yet not be seen. 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